6 Ways to Tell Your Partner You Need Some Alone Time

When the coronavirus pandemic first started, most of us were taken aback by how much time we could spend with our loved ones. After all, spending quality time with our family or partner was what we had always dreamed of, right?

Couples who have been together for a long time found new ways to reconnect, while new relationships became much stronger. Maybe you’ve created a new routine that involved more ‘us’ time or just enjoyed your favorite activities more than ever.

Months passed and the pandemic only seemed to get worse. What seemed like the most romantic opportunity in the beginning was now starting to suffocate you bit by bit every day.

Let’s jump straight to the point and admit a truth most of us find difficult to even recognize to ourselves: we’d jump over a cliff for our partners, but sometimes we just need – some – space.

Whether you’ve been binge-watching your favorite shows for months or just tried to find the perfect work-kids balance, you’ve been together most of the time, day and night.

As with anything else in life, though, balance is key – and that includes spending some solo time on a regular basis. But how can you tell your special someone that you need to distance yourself without hurting their feelings?

This is the tricky question we’re going to answer so that you can stay happy and emotionally healthy together (even in a pandemic!).

1. What does ‘alone time’ mean to you?

Before you find yourself mindlessly yelling that you need your solo time, it’s important to figure out what ‘solo time’ really looks like for you. Your partner will most likely try to understand why alone time is so important, but you also need to know how to explain it to them.

Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, psychologist and mindset coach, explain that only people who are fulfilled and content can be good partners. Part of achieving these emotional and mental states involves spending time with ourselves – and that’s a fact.

What we do on that alone time, though, is unique to each and every one of us. Some may need to go for a jog while others want to listen to their favorite album without interruptions. Either way, you must first figure out what you truly need and desire before shouting it to your partner’s face.

2. Be as clear as possible

If alone time has been a missing piece of your puzzle lately, you may have gathered some frustration. This feeling can verbally translate into ‘I need some space’ which can easily turn what could’ve been a constructive conversation into a pointless fight.

Once you’ve figured out what you truly need, it’s best to tell your partner exactly that. If you need one hour of uninterrupted soap bubble bath time, then explain to them just what your desire looks like, as well as how much it would help you mentally and emotionally.

The fact that this is such a delicate topic brings me to my next point…